They said, "Don't get that surgery."

I was talking to some folks about the WLS surgery I plan to have.  Comments range from great, to you'll lose too much weight and you look fine the way you are.  Finally one individual said you're face will be sunken in and wrinkled. . . it's so nice and full now.  Anybody have any rude comments like these?  I guess not everyone is as excited as me . . . and likely folks don't like change . . . like things the way they are.  Not me, I'm ready for a new change in my life.  I hope this makes some sense.  But I was so disappointed when I heard these remarks.

You'll soon see here that you're not alone. Lack of knowledge/information can spur on many unwanted comments. The one co-worker I trusted enough to share the info with was shocked and told me all kinds of horror stories she had heard of. I just told her I'm going to do it, it is scheduled and I'm looking forward to a healthier, happier life. She doesn't say anything anymore other than to ask how much time I'll be off work (she'll have to fill in for me). My son is supportive. He was shocked at first but he did research online and once I had all my nut visits and told him what the surgeon said he said he will help me anyway he can. Haven't told my daughters yet, I know their response will be less than supportive so I'm holding off. I'm remaining very positive and focused and not going to let any comments bother me.
Good luck to you on your journey,
Alice

Ya know, when I first started this journey, I made sure to only tell the people that I knew would be supportive.  And, I prefaced my telling them with," I need your support, and I need to have supportive people to be on my side in this.  I have researched the heck out of it, and I'm going to die soon if I don't have this surgery." Then I told them, and lo and behold, they were onboard.  Not everybody needs to know.  NOW, I tell everybody because its so obvious.  I've lost 100 lbs so you can't hide it.  Some people I tell the truth, others I tell them that eat alot less and work my a$$ off at the gym 4 days a week.  And that's the truth too.  Good luck.  Reggie

hi jan and congrats on making the choice to live a better healthier life with having WLS!!! oh you will have all sorts of people telling you NOT to have this surgery and you will also have them tell you to have it!!! you are doing this for YOU not for them!!!! just follow your dr's orders and you will be fine!!! even now i have my mom tell me (when i see her) that me face looks gaunt and i shouldn't lose anymore weight!!! but she is thrilled i am healthy now and guess what...i am happy and feel good and would do it all over again if needed!!!!!!! my only regret is not having it done sooner!!! i also told anyone and everyone that would listen that i was going to have this WLS and i still tell people that i have had it and so far i am pretty lucky to have most happy for me and ask questions and tell me they know someone that would like to talk to me about having this WLS!!!

good luck and if you need support...we are all here for you anytime you need us!!! you go ahead and have WLS and be happy and healthy and enjoy life again!!!

hugs

Jan, we've all had to endure these comments from "friends" and family members.  You need to do what's best for your health and try not to worry about the negative comments.  OFF is the right place for support.  True, we may all be biased in that we're for wls, but you'll have our experiences to draw from as to what to expect.  When the outside world gets the best of you, come here and vent.

Best wishes, and good luck on your journey to better health.
Debbie

Hang in there! When they talk about not "looking " like you need this surgery make sure that they realize that you are doing it for your health, not your looks.
I did not tell anyone but my very closest friend until after the surgery. I just did not want to deal with those comments. I was quite suprised when after the surgery was done, they all were ecstatic for me and have been suportive.
That bein said, the best support I have found has been on this web site. Everyone here has walked in our moccasins and can truly know how we feel. No one else can...no matter how much they love us.

I'm definitly hanging in there.  I like what you said about doing it for health reasons.  I'm looking forward to all of the health benefits.  It looks like you just had your surgery.  How are you feeling at this point?

Hi Jan,

I also recently had my lap RNY (12 Nov) and I am actually doing quite well.  The first couple of days are not fun, but if you keep a positive attitude and keep the end goal in site then you are able to get through it.  I got home and am still on the clear liquids right now and I must say it is a challenge to get all the protein in along with the liquids, but I am getting there.

Every day gets better.  I am already feeling better and honestly I am not actually hungry, but working through the 'head' hunger. Getting the protein and liquids in is key.  My Dr. did say that, it usually takes a couple of weeks or so work up to the total protein/liquids everyday.

Make the decision for yourself, not others.  Others do not care about your health they way you do.  Take time to evaluate your needs and where you see yourself going, or where you want to be in a while.  I spent so much time overweight that it got to a point I didn't seem to care.  I focused on my husband's health thinking all the time that I was in better shape than he was.  Well, I may have been healthier, but not by much.

Once I began the journey to WLS, I discovered that I had a bad case of sleep apnea (unknown for how many years?), which alone could have resulted in my death.  Add to that, high BP, high cholesterol, very high triglycerides, some other type of obstructive breathing, and chronic back pain.

I took the journey for my health.  Not because my husband was concerned about it, or my family and friends.  I did it for me.  That is why you should make the decision for yourself.

This forum helped me while I was making the decision and they are a great support system.  There is no right or wrong, only what is right or wrong for you personally.

Still a little rough. But nothing more than i expected. i really am telling myself now that the discomfort I am experiencing is nothing compared to the pain I would have with bilateral knee replacements, constant reflux, bladder resuspension and all the other things that are wrong with me because of my weight.
Every day is a little bit better and like Dori i just keep swimming.

You'll also get comments like "If you would jus****ch what you eat and exercise, you could lose the weight naturally." (like you haven't already tried that!) or "You're going to gain it all back." (that was from my mother ... I remind her of it everytime she compliments me now, of how much that hurt me).

You do what you want to do. Ignore their comments. They don't know any better.